The start of my goals

White Notebook with five different colored markers. Positive affirmation

What are you passionate about? It’s a question I ask myself everyday. I was hoping to find inspiration at a conference I was attending for work. Although it was worthwhile and I was able to collaborate and build relationships, I found the experience very energy draining. It is difficult for me to be social for 4 days without downtime.  Normally when I travel for work I am alone and have better control of my schedule. This conference was jam packed, which included extra social events at the end of each day. Some people benefit from the social aspect of these events and become energized. I need more of a balance. I’ve discovered in the past year, that I am an extroverted introvert. Solo reflection is where I become most energized and creative. If I am required to be social for long periods of time, I lack focus. It can sometimes take a day for me to recover. That is true for both my professional and personal endeavors. That became crystal clear for me over the past week.

As I embark on my new creative path, I must set aside time everyday for reflection in addition to non negotiable time each week to work toward my goals. My first goal is to write at least one blog post each week. Another is to set aside 10 non-negotiable hours each week to complete Marie Forleo’s B-School. I am so excited and energized to participate in this program. This program will give me the tools I need to create a platform for my first book. I am putting this out into the Universe. My ultimate goal is to have a first draft of a novel by the end of 2018. This project has simmered in my mind for over 15 years and now is the time. If I don’t make the commitment, it will never happen. Exposing your work to the public is a daunting task. It requires a willingness to expose your vulnerability. I am not unique. This is an age old issue. I am hoping that with this blog I can find the community to take on this journey.

Create your new ending

I thought this quote was perfect for the new moon and setting new intentions.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

~Maria Robinson

I had written a post the other night, but I decide to delete it. It was after several gray rainy days coupled with several days of migraines and a long week at work. I sat there internally whining and complaining. When I was done, I reflected on what I had written. It was not meant to be put out into the universe. The page was filled with negative self indulgent rubbish and added zero value. While everyday doesn’t need to be perfect and happy, I choose to be positive or negative. The world is full of negative energy and I am not going to contribute.

Tonight as I set my intentions with the new moon, I choose to be positive and mindful of the energy I bring to my daily interactions. We only have today. Let’s not waste it being negative.

 

My magical world

Mossy green rainforest. HOH Rainforest 2017

Can you see the fairies? I can. They flutter in and out of the magical world hidden beneath the roots of this exquisite tree. This post was inspired by the never ending rain that has enveloped the East Coast and will last for the next day and a half. I captured this image last summer on a family trip to visit my daughter and her husband who had just relocated to Seattle. This magical place resides in the HOH Rainforest along the Pacific Coast Highway in Washington. Ever since my mom passed in 2006, I have wanted to write a story about a magical fairy land. It is always in the back of my mind. My mom was a doll designer who loved fairies, and created many colorful characters, who I see inhabiting this land. She is the fairy queen.IMG_7919

Every time I sit down to write the story, it vanishes. Maybe it’s my the fear of entering into a long history of fairy stories or maybe it’s unresolved feelings from my mom’s passing that block me from writing the story. All writer’s have one or more stories they struggle to tell and this is mine. I know she is my spirit angel and is always with me. One day the Universe will tell me its time. The magic will happen and the words will fill the page. Until then, I can only dream of this magical place and what will become of my fairies in the rainforest. What’s your hidden story?

I invite you to take a few moments and enjoy the serenity.Namaste.

The page is no longer blank

Clam shell barnacles from La Push beach in Washington State

When your a writer, there is nothing more intimidating than the blank page. I’ve heard from many professors and professional writers just put words on paper, even if they are gibberish. There are finally words on the page. My blog went live today. It is no longer just a thought in my head. The thoughts in my head are complex. Not much different than this image I’d taken at La Push beach in the Pacific Northwest. I love this picture because of its delicate balance mixed with a complex symphony of life. The textures and colors feel similar to my racing thoughts as I contemplate the paths that will unfold.

Elizabeth Gilbert says in Big Magic, Creative Living Beyond Fear, “Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are living within you?…we all know that when courage dies, creativity dies with it.” I know this to be true. My creativity died years ago and its taken me years to get it back. Making my blog public was very scary and exhilarating at the same time. Now that its live, it feels like a tiny diamond radiating energy waiting to grow its light. It only needs me to breath life into it..one post at a time.

It’s time…

My intention for this year is to live my truth. I am starting this blog from an insecure place, but that’s OKAY. Over the years I have dreamt, talked and thought about writing. I’d always thought it would be a novel. Last week I watched a video from Marie Forleo of Marie TV on perfection. She said you need to go for Progress not Perfection. In not so perfect words, she said If you are not embarrassed by your early stage work than you are not trying and stifled by perfection. Just click publish. The thought of being vulnerable and putting my words out into the universe, open to criticism, has always stopped me in my tracks. I made excuses about the timing not being right or lack of inspiration. I even have the perfect little black writing desk. I purchased it over 5 years ago from Pottery Barn with saved loose change. On it sits a beautiful white iMac waiting for me to create the next great American novel. Sad to say it didn’t inspire me enough to break down my walls.

In July of 2017, I came down with bacterial pneumonia and ended up in the hospital for several weeks. It was the first time in my life I was seriously ill. While in the hospital I was in denial about the seriousness of my situation. It wasn’t until I was out of the hospital for several weeks, my lungs and body still painful and weak, that I realized what I went through was not as simple as a bad cold. For the past several months my path has been different. Visions of the life I want to live are ever present. I have a great career, loving family, vibrant yoga and meditation practice, but I still felt empty. The creative spirit I had when I was younger has been dormant for a long time.

On Friday night, I mentioned to my husband that I had come up with an idea for a blog and decided on a name. In my search I checked to see if Instagram and Twitter were available as well. He looked at me and said, “What are you waiting for, set it up.” In a panic, I started explaining the costs and what it would take to set everything up. He looked up at me and said, “We have the money. What do you have to lose” and handed me my laptop. CreativeMindPizza was born. Wish me luck…